Today I realized, as I was talking to a friend from work, that the impulse to run away hasn’t faded from my system. I’m settled in at college, and I’m starting to actually like it. But there’s this nagging feeling that I can’t shake off. For all the experience I’ve gained being here at college, I feeling like I’m still missing something.
I’m so restrained because of the thought to succeed and prove that I can do whatever I want, regardless of where I am, and where I’m from, but I want so much to just escape.
Escape from the pressure to succeed, escape from money, escape from society, escape from expectations.
This huge overbearing weight is holding me to college and it’s all I can do to not be crushed by it. I loathe the fact that I’m so comfy cozy in my little dorm room; free food, heat and shelter. I have what so many people didn’t get the chance to have; safety, education, family, love.
I’m trying to put down in words how I feel, but it’s escaping me.