Wanderlust

I know you’re all sick of me complaining about what I have, but here it is again.  The confession to shock you all.  I don’t want to go back to school.  I don’t want to spend three more years stuck in the same place.  I don’t want to pay for a piece of paper that may or may not guarantee a job later in life that I may or may not be happy at.

I feel itchy (and I’m most definitely not talking about the mosquito bites I’m covered in, hah).  I have wanderlust something bad, and I don’t think I’ve ever known what I’ve wanted.  My emotions are at war with the expectations I’ve internalized.  Is this how everyone feels?  I’m a walking contradiction; I’m lonely, but I want to be by myself.  I long to be happy, but I’m perfectly content with being unhappy.  I’m scared to leave, but even more afraid to stay.  I need something to change.

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