This morning, while getting ready for a meeting, I had my iPod on shuffle in my dock.  Pretty normal stuff played; Marilyn Manson, Mindless Self Indulgence, Evanescence (normal for me anyways)…And then, all of a sudden, a song played that took me back to my first real slow dance with my biggest crush, Lincoln.  (People from Hulett, you’re probably cracking up right now, because there’s only one Lincoln.)

Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter.

Not only did it remind me of my first grown-up dance (it wasn’t really that grown-up…I was really afraid to ask him, and he finally asked me when people told me I wanted to dance.), but it reminded me of going to town in the summers with my sister, Kim, in the jeep that Beth let her drive.  I remember the sun streaming in the large, open windows, our hair blowing around, sunglasses reflecting the bright sun, screaming the words to the Deana Carter CD that was playing.

We never went because we had to go, we went just to hang out, just to be together.  Pat seldom came with us, and escaping from home was always welcome.  I thought that we were the bets of friends, and I never wanted to summer to end, because that meant that we would go back to bitching about each other to our friends, and avoiding seeing each other in school.  She was the coolest person I ever knew, and I was always so upset when she shunned me in front of her friends.

I was just the dorky little sister that always wanted to tag along.  Now I can see why she never wanted me around, but it doesn’t lessen how bad I felt when she made fun of me.

But during those summer months, we were best friends, going everywhere together; to town, up on the hill to tan together, etc.

I miss the days when what CD we wanted to listen to was the only thing that we had to choose, before money and motherhood got in the way.  (Not that I don’t love my nephews.)  We were so free and able to do whatever we wanted.  High school is so far behind both of us, and even though it was the worst time of my life, I would give so much to be able to go back to when we were able to hang out in the jeep, talking, laughing and singing to Deana Carter.

It’s funny how those memories last…


One Day Left..

And I’m gone for at least a year.  It’s a lot to process, so I’m just going to watch “Sex and the City” (season five; almost done!) today.  I fly out at 1.08 tomorrow.  Wow.

I went to the school to pick up my yearbook, and I saw all of my old teachers.  I was so excited to see everyone, and it just hit me how hard college is going to be without them.  I’m still going to keep in touch, because I’m so close with a few of them, but I won’t get to see them everyday.  It’s going to be quite a change.

I’m afraid to go to college, especially with all this money crap hanging over my head, but I want to just leave and get it done already.  Everyone else is already started, settled, and loving it.

I want to be a college success story.

High School Graduate

I finally graduated, and I’m getting used to the fact that I’m not going to go back to school at HHS. I’ve been spending a lot of time reading, and also on the computer (which I would like to cut down on…). Today, I went through a bunch of my old stuff that was boxed away, and threw most of it in the dumpster. I saved books, a few really old journals, and a note or two from elementary. I found three journal entries, un-dated, that are written entirely in French. I remember my French phase, but I do not remember writing these, and I’ve no clue what they say. I’ve tried translating them online, but the translation is strange, so I gave up. Everything graduation is almost over; I’ve kept up on writing my thank-you notes, and I’ve only got a few left to write and send out.

Other than cleaning and throwing stuff away, I spent time outside with Salem, in the nice weather. I picked up boxes that he got a hold of and destroyed, and picked up plastic bottles that get tossed to him to make him stop barking. Today was about 70 degrees; hot enough to make me seriously crave water after going through those old boxes! I also seriously considered walking down to the creek to dip my feet in…

I also spent some time online researching insurances, because my current is a Wyoming-only plan, and I’ll have to get a new one when I move. Major headache there. Another decision I have to make soon; whether to fly out to Naperville, and send stuff to myself, or drive out there with a fully packed car. The latter is somewhat impossible right now, due to the fact my car broke down while Kyle was visiting, and needs a new fuel pump, which costs anywhere from $150 to $450. I don’t have that money right now, even with all the graduation gifts. I’m leaning towards flying out, because the ticket will probably cost less than the gas to drive, and I could pack all of my clothes in my suitcases, one checked bag, another carry-on, and have pretty much everything I need.

Speaking of things I need. With gifts cards I received, I ordered some sheets (extra long twin-sorta rare around here) (I linked the site that I ordered from because the value packs are awesome! They come with EVERYTHING you need for your dorm, even pillows, and they have free shipping!) and a new comforter for my dorm room. Just thinking about the set makes me anxious to get to college already!

The Girl with Glass Feet

When the seniors were checked out, we still had to stay at the school for graduation rehearsal. Since rehearsal was an hour away, I went to the public library (which is a two minute walk from the school, and the school library was not checking books out anymore) and picked out one of the new books. The book I picked up was “The Girl with Glass Feet” by Ali Shaw. The cover really got to me; a pale blue/greenish cover with black trees, vines, birds and flowers. It looked mysterious, and when I opened it to skim the summary, I decided I would get it.
Once I started, it didn’t take me long to be completely absorbed.

The story describes a man (boy?) who is afraid of touch, and is a black and white photographer. He meets a girl while on a walk to take photos, and instantly, he is confounded by her boots (of all things). Her boots are too large for her tiny, tiny frame. Midas, the man, later learns that Ida has come back the the island, St. Hauda’s Land, to find a cure for her feet, both of which have slowly started to turn into clear, beautiful glass. Midas slowly starts to fall in love with this doomed girl, and together, they try to find a cure for her feet. Along the way, they meet Henry Fuwu (who Ida has met once, on her first visit to the island) who is obsessed with his herd of moth-winged bulls (which are exactly what they sound like; tiny bovines with translucent wings), Denver, Midas’ best friend’s daughter, a little girl who’s mother died, who draws narwhals pulling carriages with queens and gives advice to Midas about the thoughts in the back of his mind, Carl Mausen, who was tragically in love with Ida’s mother, and makes him do terrible things to Ida for the sake of “love”, and with Carl Mausen, Emiliana Stallows, married to the richest man of the island, and who also claims to know the cure for Ida’s condition. All of the characters come alive in Ali Shaw’s first novel, in a hauntingly beautiful land, where the citizens are mistrustful of anyone new, and who all hold their own secret lives.

I was so caught up in this book, the awkward tension between the main characters made me smirk, the moth-winged bovine giving birth to a tiny, tiny specimen made me smile, and the mysterious glass creeping up Ida’s legs made me afraid, and my own legs itched and went numb with sympathy. I highly recommend reading this book to find out what becomes of Midas and Ida’s precarious relationship.

New Me?

This is the day that every high school senior is waiting for. Who am I kidding, every kid in school waits for this day. The last day of school. Not to be continued after summer, just high school is complete, done, you never have to return. I was excited two weeks ago, one week ago, a few days ago. But yesterday and today, I felt like something was missing. Everyone was jumping up and down (literally) and announcing they were “DONE!!!” But I still feel, I don’t even know, left out? People warned me that I would feel letdown after I was done, but I constantly brushed them off with a shrug, a wave of my hand and a “whatever!” But I can really see what they meant.

For nearly 18 years, Hulett has been my home, and I’ve gone to school almost everyday. What am I supposed to do now? Really, who am I now? I honestly don’t know the answer to that question. In a few months, I’m going to be packing up all of my things, and going clear across the U.S. to Naperville, a place I’ve been to all of two times. I’ll be leaving everything I’ve ever known; my family, my home, my friends, my teachers, my mentors, my roots, to be with my boyfriend.

I’m happy to be going, I really am. But it’s hard to conjure up the enthusiasm right now. Graduation is going to hit me hard, because everything I am is coming to an end.

I’m going to be so different once I leave Wyoming, and I’m not sure if that’s going to be a good thing…Or a bad thing.

gratuitous prom picture


Today, I stayed home from school, again, because I wasn’t feeling all that great. I’m still not feeling the best, but I thought that right now would be a really good time to do a blog. I’ve waited for way too long to do a book review on “Shanna”, so here you are!

When I first started reading “Shanna“, I was babysitting, and Sam was watching t.v., while I was relaxed in the chair with the book. The first couple of pages were hard to get into, partly because it was time for Sam to go to bed, and partly because I was so tired. But finally, it started talking about Shanna Trahern’s idea, and what forced her into it. You see, her father, who was a true rags to riches story, told her that she had better find a husband before her 21st birthday, or else he would. All of the other suitors disagreed with her, and she sent them off with some fierce words, and sometimes a slap in the face if they got too clingy. A few weeks before her birthday, she scoured the prisons to find a man whom she could get married to, and if he agreed to her marriage contract, she would give him food to last out his life until he was hanged, and pay for a proper church burial. But when she meets this prisoner, Ruark Beauchamp , who happens to have a very fine last name, connections to a rich family in London, she gets more than she bargains for. His deal for marrying her is the chance to consummate the marriage.

There are twists and turns everytime you flip the page, from pirate kidnappings to murders.

I don’t want to say much more, because I’m really good at giving away the good parts of a book, so much that people don’t want to read the book anymore.

But, “Shanna” by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss is still my favorite of all her other books I’ve read as of now. I highly recommend it, if it doesn’t bother you to carry around a book with a cover like “Shanna” has. And if it does, just, you know, cover the front with some dark paper or something. :)

Days of Art


It’s been a little bit too long (again!) but I’m finally getting the chance to update :)
Kyle will be here in T-minus 2 days, and prom is coming right up as well. I’ll make sure to update with prom pictures :)

I was at art symposium (that is erica and I, B.B. [before bangs] if you were wondering…), which is this really cool gathering of art from all over the state of Wyoming. It’s seriously a once in a lifetime kind of deal, and I loved it.

The only bad part (and I wish I would have gotten photographic evidence of this) was the fact that we stayed in a sleazy hotel. Seriously, I walked down the hallway to get ice, barefoot, and there was shattered glass in the carpet. In the bed, there was hair, and on the toilet seat, more hair. Even the free breakfast (I know, it was free, I shouldn’t complain) was really crappy. My omelet was cold when I got it, and I’m pretty sure my hash browns still had ice on them. Not to mention my HOT tea, served 20 minutes after everyone else, COLD.

It was a ton better last year, when the rooms were clean…

But anyways, there was cool art there, and it would take forever to show all of it.

A table made of mosaics (the little piece of paper is the artist information; the blue dot means that it got a ribbon for being really good.)

And this really caught my eye too! Try to spot all the fairy tales in it! (*) It was named “Storyteller’s Apprentice” and it was awesome. It brought back fond, childhood memories.

“Storyteller’s Apprentice”.

I’m not going to bore you with more art, and the last I will say is, I got a haircut, involving my bangs. Look at the nifty, new display picture :)

One more thing, I’ve read a few more Woodiwiss books, and people are starting to ask me what ones they should read. Success! :)

* You probably thought I was joking when I said to look for the fairy tales. I know the photos are small. But click on any of them to see them bigger.