I started the cleanse today, and I’m miserable.  I know that’s the name of the game, but I’ve made a pretty tough decision.

I’ve decided to postpone the master cleanse until Sunday or Monday morning.  I feel like I’m letting everyone down, but I’ve decided this for several reasons.

For one, I don’t think my body can handle a 10 day master cleanse (what with the weight loss).  I’ve said this before; I’ve done tons of research, but before last night, I never really got into the people against the master cleanse.  One blogger said that she had lost 20 some pounds.  I don’t have that much to lose.  I feel like if I only go a week, I won’t have as much weight loss.  Even if I do gain it all back, going that low (80ish pounds) scares me to death.

Another reason is that Kyle, who was going to do the cleanse with me from the start isn’t starting yet (because of the third reason), and without support from him (who will know what I’m going through), I don’t think I can manage this.  I know that several other people were planning on the cleanse with me, but Kyle is right here to comfort me when it gets really bad.

The third reason is dinner reservations.  They aren’t really a reason, so much as they’re just an excuse.

I hope that I haven’t let anyone down, and if anyone has started with me today (and I haven’t talked to you about it), good luck and I hope I don’t discourage you.  If anyone would like to postpone their own cleanse in order to start with me, let me know; I would love to partner up with you!


Day One or “Too Much Cayenne”

I started this whole thing last night with a nice smelling cup of Senna tea.  The directions to brew it were extremely specific, and after letting it steep covered for 8-10 minutes (I cleaned), you’re supposed to give it a squeeze to get every last drop out.  I noticed when I squeezed it that it had a strange oily substance deep in the tea bag.  I ignored it, and put a few ice cubes in my tea to cool it down to a drinkable temperature.  I didn’t add sugar, because the smell of this tea was so good; black licorice!

But after the first gulp, it didn’t taste as good as I thought it might.  It left an oily feeling on the back of my throat and something about that texture made me want to throw up.  After about 3 gulps, I felt the need to visit the bathroom, but it wasn’t a strong urge or anything.  I ended up drinking the entire thing (pinching my nose for some of it, and feeling nauseous when I unplugged my nose), and then some time after 12:56, I fell asleep.

When I woke up well-rested this morning, I crawled out of bed and wondered why I didn’t have an “urge” to go.  I wandered downstairs, trying to be quiet and not wake up Kyle, who was sleeping on the couch (still is as I write this).  As I was opening the salt to make my very first SWF (salt water flush), I felt something shift in my belly.  I pretty much ran to the bathroom.

Satisfied, I returned to the kitchen to finish up the SWF.

32 oz is 4 cups of water.  I made mine in this large measuring cup and then poured it into a regular glass.  The first drink wasn’t so bad.  I mean, I love salt, and this was nice tasting salt (not the gross iodized stuff, which is hard for me to even gargle).  I tried to drink as much as I could in one go so I didn’t chicken out.  You guys, this is a LOT of stuff to drink!

I could feel it sloshing around in my belly, and I forced more and more salt water down my throat.  I could feel myself getting slightly nauseous, I think because I’m not used to drinking so much at one time, and the last bit (which was probably about a cup and a half) sat on the counter, staring at me.  I was crouched on the floor for awhile, clutching my stomach with one hand, and covering my face with the other.

I told myself that I didn’t have to drink ALL of it.  I mean, it was the first day, and the portion that I drank would be fine.  Then, I picked up the glass and downed it.  I felt so proud of myself.  I couldn’t start the entire cleanse on the wrong foot, could I?  I can feel my belly gurgling as we speak.  It’s a strange sensation.

Next, I started the Lemon drink.  You’re not supposed to drink anything for an hour after the SWF unless you dilute it, so I started this to put in the fridge so it’s there when I want it.  I started by rolling a lemon on the counter to soften it up.  I rolled and rolled and rolled, with increasing pressure until the lemon felt almost like a ball of clay, and the scent of lemon was in the air.  I cut it in half, and stuck it on the juicer.

I twisted it and pushed it until I was sure there was no juice left in there.  I did that with both halves.  Then, I measured the syrup into the glass.

Because I didn’t strain the lemon juice or anything, it was pretty pulpy.  I like the pulp, so if you don’t, strain it first.  It smelled so good while I was mixing everything together!

I added everything to the right amount of water (in the big measuring cup again), and then opened the cayenne pepper.  The recipe doesn’t call for a certain amount, just enough to taste.  I wasn’t sure how much to add, so I shook some in.

I stirred everything up, and spooned a little bit into my mouth.  I almost yelped at the burn!  I ended up dragging the spoon over the surface to get rid of some of the cayenne, and I kept making a little bit more of the drink to balance it out.  It’s still a little spicy (and I’m not a fan of spicy foods), but it’s as good as it gets.  For those of you wondering, this is what the lemon drink looks like.

It actually doesn’t taste too bad.  I could drink it for 10 days no problem.  I’m just going to work with the cayenne pepper bit…




P.S. See you tonight to regale you with tales of the first complete day!

Master CLEANSE Confusion

I’ve gotten so many texts, e-mails, Facebook messages, and comments from people who are confused as to why I am doing this cleanse, and ones who scold me and tell me that I’m too thin to do it.  I wanted to first clear the air before I really jump in (in the morning!).

  1. This is a CLEANSE, not a diet.  I’m not trying to lose weight; it’s just an effect of the process.  I will lose weight; I know that, and I’m not worried.  Because I will gain it all back (not the unhealthy gross stuff, either).
  2. The cleanse cleans your system of toxins and the gross colon stuff you’ve collected over the years with bad eating habits.
  3. I’ve researched this cleanse TO DEATH.  I know what I’m getting myself into.
  4. Contrary to what you all seem to believe, I DO have a reason for this cleanse.  I lived in a household all my life where both parents smoked.  I was hardly out of that until I moved to college, where pollution makes the stars invisible.  I would love to get all the bad stuff out of my system.
  5. You may think that I’m this frail, thin, unhealthy girl, but I’m really freaking healthy.  Doctors confirm this to me all the timeI have a small body frame; not an eating disorder.
  6. And lastly, I’m trying to cut salt (for the most part) out of my diet.  I can’t taste food without salt, and that’s not natural.  I believe that this cleanse will help me with that.

Now, thank you to all who have supported me throughout the first mention of this cleanse, and I hope to hear from all who plan to participate in it with me!  I’ve started my tea tonight (which I will write about tomorrow), and I can’t wait for the real deal tomorrow!

(Notice how cleanse is underlined?  I’m trying to prove a point here.  This is not a diet.  I’m not doing it to lose weight.  I’m doing it to cleanse my system of unhealthy toxins.)


Is the first day of the Master Cleanse, and I wanted to show you how well I’m prepared for it:

The (2 bags of) lemons/(1 bag of)limes (you can use either for a taste difference, or a tablespoon of each), maple syrup, and salt were purchased at Trader Joe’s.  We looked for the tea at Trader Joe’s, at Casey’s, at a random pharmacy, but then I remembered it being mentioned at Walgreens.  Sure enough, we went there and it was on the top shelf in the pharmacy aisle, on sale for $4 a box.

We’re going out to eat tonight as a last hurrah to real food for 10 days at Red Lobster (Lobster Fest!), and then I plan on drinking a cup of the tea (with sugar!) before I go to bed.  After tonight, the tea will not have sugar or honey in it, unless I ration some out.

I have the dentist on the 23rd, and then school starts back up on the 28th.

So…who’s all doing this cleanse with me?  I can’t wait to start! Can you?

Countdown to the Master Cleanse

I mentioned a few days back that I was going to do the “Master Cleanse”.  I’m planning on starting on the 17th (in three days!), and I thought I would start with a shopping list of the items needed for this cleanse, with enough time for everyone to pick them up in time to start!

The recipe (for the lemon drink) is as follows:

  • 2 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice
  • 2 tbsp organic 100% grade B (dark) maple syrup  (I know you can get this at Trader Joe’s; and it doesn’t HAVE to be grade B.  You can use A, B or C.)
  • cayenne pepper to taste
  • 1 cup water

You drink 6-12 cups per day (so that means you need a whole lot of lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper.  You do the cleanse for a minimum of 10 days, and at 6 cups a day, you’re going to use 120 tablespoons of lemon juice and 120 tablespoons of maple syrup.  That adds up to 7 and a half CUPS of both for the 10 days.  Make sure you get enough the first time because when you’re in the middle of it, you probably won’t want to head to the store to pick more up).  Also, you can make more than one serving at a time, but only one day of it (6-12 cups).  If you refrigerate it for too long, it’s not the same drink.  So, if you make a lot of extra for the entire day, but don’t drink it, pour it down the drain the next day and start over.  You drink this lemonade whenever you feel hungry (no snacking!).

The recipe (for the SWF- salt water flush) is as follows:

  • 32 oz of WARM water
  • 2 level tsp of coarse sea salt (NOT iodized)

You drink the SWF every morning, all 32 oz at one time.  This helps flush all the gross stuff you’ve accumulated over the years (and everyone has A LOT).

Another thing you need is senna leaf laxative tea for the night.  You can get this pretty much anywhere (even Walgreens).  You can drink as much tea (chamomile, peppermint, etc) during the day as you want, but remember that you don’t get to add sugar or honey to it.  Some people save a little bit of the maple syrup from the lemon drink to add to tea to keep proportions right, but remember that your lemon drink will be kind of yucky tasting without the full 2 tablespoons.

Hope this helps!

Energy, or My Lack Thereof

I ended up not going to the dentist yesterday, because there was a date mix up, and when I really go is the 23rd.  That gives me sufficient time to freak out a little bit more.

You guys, I’m seriously so tired today.  I stayed up late last night talking to my roommate, and the stress of the upcoming finals week is draining my energy.  Add to that the crappy, dreary weather, and you get me, almost falling asleep as she’s walking the aisle at work.  I seriously about fell asleep standing up.  My body is achy because of the weather, and my joints creaking when I walk make me feel like I’m 100 years old.

I have two hours until class starts, and I’m going to take a nap.  I promise that my blogging will improve over the next couple of weeks.  I have spring break, a dentist appointment, and a MASTER CLEANSE to blog about.  For those who are interested in the master cleanse, I’ll be starting sometime around the 17th of March.  So if you’re interested in reading about that (or participating! It would be awesome to have people doing it with me!), make sure to tune in for a daily journal on how that goes.

My bed is calling me.